The Challenge to Laugh

If I had to choose just one friend
It would be the one who laughs with me
For laughter can open up one's soul
And after all, what else do we have

Our inner thoughts are ours alone
But I will now share mine with you
You are the friend I favor and trust
With all that life has dealt me

Dear friend, you love me unconditionally
Knowing all my dreams, joys and pain
Crying with me....when I need to
Lending me your shoulder, strong and steady

Friends like you are rare and precious
But you have met the challenge
You have encouraged me to be myself
You have allowed my spirit to be set free

You have shown me how to laugh again
And you have laughed with me.....
You have truly become my best friend
I can only pray you find me as faithful

Becoming a Man

As the frost lies softly on the forest floor
And the ice slips from the tips of the pine
The sun slowly rises from its sleeping place
And cast an eerie shadow across my path
I am Clenched Fist; I have seen ten winters

Today I go into the woods for the deer
Armed with bow and arrow, I slowly enter
I have no fear, for I am the mighty hunter......
The heart of the buffalo beats beneath my skin

Today I will gain the respect of the elders
Crouched low to the ground I crawl forward
Toward the prey that I alone must bring down
There, in the clearing up ahead, I see the white tail

But as I get closer I see it is a doe with her fawn
She is lying hidden and helpless in the dense foliage
This mighty warrior should be void of all feelings
But as my heart is beating faster and louder
The frightened fawn snuggles in closer to the doe

She smells me for I am not down wind
I cannot let go of the arrow; no not today
Just standing and gazing on this beautiful sight
Brings tears to my eyes of ten winters

Maybe tomorrow I will return and prove my manhood
But for today, my heart is bigger than my pride.....

Clarene Evans

My Silent Screams

Today I walk away alone into the Great Wood
Where my silent screams will be heard only by me
For I can no longer bear the eyes of the others
As they pierce my soul trying to read my thoughts

The pain I endure should never be seen or heard
Lest I call out your name to the wind
For if they saw my face today, they would surely know
That this child I bear, belongs to you and not Grey Owl

This secret has to be kept by me
For Grey Owl held me high above the others
And for this reason our love must remain silent
I just pray this child does not give us away

He must be raised as Grey Owl's flesh and blood
As he becomes strong and learns to lead his people
But deep in my heart I will always wish
That he could openly be known as our son

When Grey Owl came to my father with ten ponies
I knew my voice could not be heard
My father knew my feelings, but chose to say nothing
For Chief Grey Owl needed a son

Grey Owl is old and will soon walk with the Spirits
But still our child must remain the son of Grey Owl
So wait for me no longer Running Fox
For I will remain the mother of Grey Owl's son

This is the price I must pay for loving you
I'll watch our son run and play and grow into a man
Even thought in my heart I will always know
That he is, and will always be...Little Running Fox

A few of my favorite things

Snow falling softly on my tongue
Orange leaves on a tree
Sunsets kissing the horizon
and you kissing me

Early morning haze
before the sun wakes up
birds coming alive
hot coffee in my cup

Feeling the wind on my face
footsteps coming down a hall
loving and being loved in return
grandchildren smiling on my wall

Bacon sizzling in a pan
cantaloupe sliced on a plate
diced tomatoes and two eggs over easy
all served up quite late

Watching a tug go down river
watching sea birds walk on sand
watching children playing in a pool
and swimming every chance that I can

Standing as Old Glory passes by
watching her folds unfurl
blessed to be living in the USA
and thankful that I am a girl

Writing and focusing my camera just right
making my world come alive
sharing my heart with the ones that I love
and finishing all my work by five

Being able to pray when and where I choose
and not being afraid to do so
having my 39th birthday... 24 times
and quietly going along with the flow

Tracing lines along the map on the wall
going to places near and far
listening to my Grandpa Gookie's tall tales
and eating cookies from Grandma Den's cookie jar

Taking each day as it comes along
and daily learning something new
remembering always the good old days
and the time I spent with you

Waiting for that sweet someday

Tonight as I was walking away
I heard footsteps close behind
I dared not turn to look at you
for fear of who you might not be

Earlier this evening I waited for you
but you've all but hidden your face
now am I wrong...or are you afraid
to do what your heart tells you to do

Your life might be in for a drastic change
and happiness could sneak up on you
but if this is what you are worried about
then begone, I'll not get in your way

For I'll remain as I've always been
waiting for that sweet someday
should you ever return, I'll still be here
waiting for you to come take me away

But remember that deep inside your heart
I'll always be that unforgettable part
that once took your breath away
and maybe...just maybe if I wait long enough...

My Yesterdays

My yesterdays, they haunt me so
and will not turn me loose
remaining as if almost a part
white forged into this bleeding heart
grasping fingers of times gone by
aged throughout the years
in lonely hours do I live out my days
with my dreams and my thoughts and my fears
but these old times are the same old times
and if only they could be renewed
but we both know this cannot be so
for our lives we've at last reviewed
and find that what had once transpired
and kept us so far apart
was the very thing that we threw away
that precious love within our hearts

Somewhere in Time

I met you once somewhere in time
Oh, was it so long ago
Or did I pass you on the street
My memory fails me so

The one thing clearer than all the rest
That stands out so vividly in my mind
Is the simple fact that I now confess
I've met you somewhere in time

Your silence is speaking volumes to me
And your meaning is not very clear
It's sending me mixed signals somehow
And your thoughts are all that I hear

Were we once friends or lovers perhaps
Who shared a life for a while
Or do I have you all mixed up
With the man who taught me to smile

A complex thing; this human mind
That often gets confused in the rhyme
But this one thing I know for sure
I did meet you somewhere in time


* the above photo was taken by me using my cellphone camera this past Saturday, August 15 in Lawrenceburg, TN. and the reason I took it like this is because I have read somewhere that the Amish do not like to have their photo taken.

Be Still and Know I Am God

Life, love, health, happiness, family, friends
These are some of the good gifts we receive
Our Precious Heavenly Father is all knowing
And these things come from Him as we need them

Why then, do we try to second guess God
Do we think that possibly we are as God
Knowing exactly what is good for us
And in what time we should receive these gifts

Can we not ever just be quiet and listen
Waiting patiently for that still small sound
His voice is so audible if we'd just listen for it
And his gifts superseding anything we could ever imagine

Patience is one special gift He allows us
We open this one carefully, taking our time
For if we rush head first, nothing can be gained
And the gift He bestows, lost in the confusion

Life is precious and we need to slow down
Savoring each moment as if it is our last
We should rock our children and love our aging parents
We should trust in this great and mighty God we serve

But as we wait for our next gift to arrive
Will we recognize it when it finally does comes
Or just let it slip away as we'd done so often in our past
Will we ever learn to be still and listen for His word

"Be still and know I am God"

Longing to Remain

The night is dark and oh so long
I stand and watch the moon rising
The stars are like dancing fireflies
Just waiting to start their nightly ballet

The night air is like that of a vacuum
If I exhale will breath come again
I can hear the pounding of my heart
I am alone and the black is closing in

My beautiful dream comes so quickly
My heart slows to a rhythmic pace
The skies are once again blue; the sun is shining
For me, the dream alone is my solace

If only I could remain in this dream
I could again find the peace I so crave
The would could be righted on its axis
The air is light and I float above it

The Stages of Becoming a Woman

No comet fell when I was born but still I am here
A beating heart on this planet we call... Earth
The celestial beings have no more station than I
For I am God's creature and made in His likeness

Memories for me start at age two
When Mama brought home my new baby brother
School came at age six and life's cruelty at thirteen
At fourteen I finally became a woman

The summer I turned eighteen, I found love
A sweet precious love like no other
A love I could never have and also never forget
That love will plague me until my death

Oh Life, why did you make me choose
Why did you not let me be foolish... just once
That choice sealed my life forever in time
...........Or so I thought...........

My children came in my twenties
Hard work and tears ruled my thirties
Complacency in my forties; retirement in my fifties
And then I started a new life at sixty three

My life is passing so quickly now and soon death will come
But if by chance I could ever pass this way again
Next time I'd be more mindful of my heart
And I'd make sure my love would not come back void

Life In My Small Town

There's nothing like a bedroom community
With small churches and friendly people
You go to the bank and they know your name
Your phone and bank account number are the same

Somebody waves at you as you pass through town
You wave back and then you slow down
Roll down your car window and shout, "Howdy do"
Then you wonder if they really do know you

But you don't care and they don't either
You're just being polite; just taking a breather
Small towns have this effect on you
And it just seems like the right thing to do

This is where you have set your roots
Hung your hat and donned your boots
The country life is what you crave
Where your kids can grow and learn to behave

Thank God for Small Town, USA
Thank God for Baldwyn, Mississippi

The Pictures On My Wall

There are family members framed on my wall
The stories they tell can keep me fascinated
Some stories are short and some very involved
But I have the time and also a listening ear
In fact, some days I sit and stare, waiting
I know they will speak to me, for their soul
and mine have always been connected
We are one, and the family goes on
One tells of a little boy of five, now gone
His death recorded forever on parchment
His parents smile back at me for caring and telling
Another calls from beyond encouraging me to go on
Still another laughs with me, from somewhere
One whispers softly,reminding me of another time
Several hold fond memories of sweet smells
Fresh bathed babies who snuggled up close
Others of traveled miles and places explored
The framed pictures all have a life of their own
And the memories they spark will sustain me forever

The above photos are all members of my family and stored safely on my computer and in my heart

The Harley T-Shirt

All my life I wanted a Harley Davidson bike
and my friends thought I'd lost my mind

No one I knew had or even wanted one
but still...I did

Harley's were for the young and restless
not for a young white haired grandmother

I never got my Harley, but I did get a scooter
And it is just the perfect ride for me

I love the sound my bike makes
when the motor is revved it is music to my ears

Only on my bike can I ride with the wind
feeling the exhilaration as the world rushes by

The time I spend riding my bike is like heaven
as the bird and I become one in spirit

No one owns this mighty rushing wind
and the clean, fresh air I breathe is mine

Finally waking from my long nights dream
I realize I've just slept in my Harley T shirt again

My world now takes on a different view

The Morning After

The door is still open from last night
And I can feel the morning waking up
I gaze across the pillow and there you are
Sleeping peacefully, not knowing I am looking

Your chest rises and falls back once more
Your hair is tousled and you are gorgeous
Watching your body brings back the memories
Of last nights beauty still etched in my mind

We filled the night with such sweet sounds
Faint whispers of words known only to us
The air coming across the bed where we lay
Cooled the sheets and brought us together

The candle lit room was bathed in shadows
Dancing on the walls for us to watch
The moon peeked in just to say goodnight
As we finally gave up the passion for sleep

I am again reminded of a time long ago
When two young lovers reached out to one another
Dreaming for a night and morning such as this
Thankful that they have waited until now

Unashamaed Love Declared

How many times will you let me say
Just how much I truly love you
Life for me is like a new day dawning
Because you are here in my world

For no other reason do I now exist
You hold the key to the air that I breathe
At your touch I melt and am myself no more
But merge into a form of your choosing

I feel your presence, my hands are shaking
My life is now worthy to be called just that
You may awaken my soul once more
A soaring spirit never again to be hidden

Nothing matters to us for the time is short
Our lifetime together, a mere moment
We are now one and the universe applauds
What took us so long to reach this pinnacle

How many times can I say I LOVE YOU

I Promise You

I promise you I will be here forever
Or at least as long as there is breath
I promise you the moon and stars every night
For I can make you think they are yours
The rain and the sun are made for you alone
I give you clouds in which to hide your tears
You know my love can calm your fears
I promise I will love you till death
And I promise I will not forget your name

When the end finally comes and heaven claims my soul
I want yours to be the last face I see
For then I'll know I've kept my promise to you
I have loved you for as long as you would let me
I have kept the ember glowing all this time
And sometimes I know I was alone in that task
But I did not mind for I'd promised you
And promises I make are not made lightly
For mine is the only true love you'll ever know
And I promise I will never forget your name

A FLEETING MELODY

We enter this world screaming
We leave much the same way
Our silent screams often never heard
And the time between not mattering

We live but to praise the heavens
Knowing full well who sets the sun
Who lights the stars and the moon
The same breathes life into being

We are here but one brief moment
Merely playing through on our way out
The sounds so sweet and majestic
And the melodious tune is heard by all

The passing is one that's so bittersweet
A time we knew would be here all too soon
We have played along with the band
But now our melody no longer lingers

AND

Once somewhere in another time
I saw your face looking back at mine
And... my heart leaped with joy

For I had you all to myself once more
Hidden away behind a locked oak door
And... we were lovers

My life for a season knew no pain
For that short time you let me in
And... I knew you completely

We knew this love could not last
Soon it would be locked in the past
And... we both cried

We parted much like we had met
You went on your way...unhappy I bet
And... still you left

For years I waited for your return
Believing old bridges someday you would burn
And... you never did

I tried my best to stay away
Offering you the contentment you so craved
And ...I slowly died inside

A Blank Canvas

Somewhere in the mist of the early morning
I sense the warm sun flowing over my body
A soft breeze quietly slips across my face
Tender and precise as the master's paintbrush
Carefully painting color on to a blank canvas

Lightly he dips his paintbrush into the clay pot
Seeking color for the thought he just had
It comes to him and he applies it lightly
That stroke, ever so faint, a soft baby pink

A pink that traces the lines of my mouth
And makes my lips quiver with delight
He makes his way down to the hollow of my throat
And lets his paintbrush linger there

The soft tingling tip of the camel hair brush
Is almost more than I can endure
Stirrings from deep within course through my body
The feelings so real I can hard contain them

Suddenly I realize I am now fully awake
And breathless from this early morning play
The artist now sees his perfectly painted canvas
And finds his early morning work was not in vain

Then I Will Stay No More

I started out on this new journey
One for which I'd sought many years
Please do not cry for me for I am happy
I have passed this way with delight

New beginnings are on my horizon
This life promises to be like no other I've known
For love has finally raised her head
And beckoned me to follow my heart

I've come to this place and found love abiding
Joy and contentment are my new companions
The candles once again were lit
And their firelight grows brighter each day

How long shall I dwell among these promises
Till time itself falls from the heavens
Or when this love no longer abounds
Then I will stay no more, forever!